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Burned Out by Saying Yes? 5 Steps to Ditch People-Pleasing and Find Joy Again

Let's talk about a familiar foe that can steal our joy faster than a bad hair day: people-pleasing. You know the feeling – that constant, gnawing pressure to be everyone's superhero, the one who swoops in with a smile and a "yes," even when it leaves you feeling like a wrung-out dishcloth.

Maybe you recognize the guilt that knots your stomach when you dare to prioritize your own plans. Perhaps you've noticed the resentment simmering beneath the surface, a quiet rebellion against the never-ending requests. We've all been there, that land of perpetual busyness where our well-being gets pushed to the back burner.

But here's the truth, my friend: you were never meant to be a human vending machine of "yesses." People-pleasing might feel safe, a way to gain approval and avoid conflict. But deep down, it creates a hollow echo. We become invisible in our own lives, our needs and dreams left unheard. We worry more about what others think of us, that the value we place on ourselves, our time and our energy.

So, how do we become people-pleasers?

There isn't a one-size-fits-all answer, but often it stems from a desire for approval and validation. Maybe you grew up in a household where your worth was tied to how helpful you were, or perhaps you have a natural empathy that makes it hard to see others struggle.

The cost is real, sweet friend. Emotional exhaustion weighs us down, sapping our joy and leaving us feeling like we're running on fumes. Physical burnout whispers in the form of headaches, fatigue, and a constant feeling of being under the weather. Even our minds get cloudy, struggling to focus and make clear decisions when our energy reserves are depleted.

So, how do we break free from this cycle and reclaim our vibrant selves? It's not about becoming a cold, uncaring island. It's about cultivating a fierce love for ourselves, a love that empowers us to set healthy boundaries and say "yes" to what truly matters.

Here are 5 powerful steps to guide you on this journey:

1. Unmask Your Triggers: What situations make that "yes" bubble up uncontrollably? Is it a colleague's pleading eyes? A family member's guilt trip? Once you identify these triggers, you can develop a toolbox of responses that prioritize your well-being.


 2. Boundaries, Your Superpower:  Practice the magic of "no." It's a complete sentence, and you have the right to utter it! Craft responses that are clear and kind, like, "I'd love to help, but I'm swamped right now. Can we reschedule for [date]?"

3. Self-Care: Your Non-Negotiable:  Schedule time for activities that nourish your soul, whether it's a long, luxurious bath with essential oils, a mindful walk in nature, or simply curling up with a good book. Remember, self-care isn't selfish, it's the foundation for a healthy, vibrant you.

4. Self-Compassion: Your Inner Cheerleader:  Imagine a friend in your shoes. Would you judge them for prioritizing their needs? Absolutely not! Talk to yourself with the same kindness and understanding.

5. Embrace Authenticity:  As you prioritize your needs and values, you'll attract peoplewho appreciate the true you. The people who matter will celebrate your boundaries, not exploit them.

Remember, this isn't a race to become a self-care saint. It's a journey of self-discovery and self-love.  The more you prioritize your well-being, the more vibrant your light will shine. You deserve to feel healthy, happy, and whole. So, the next time someone makes a request, take a deep breath, listen to your inner wisdom, and choose what truly nourishes your soul. You are worthy of a life that overflows with joy, not just a constant feeling of obligation.

If you have issues with saying yes to yourself and no to others, let's chat! I've helped other women put themselves first for a change and the results have been remarkable for them. Visit to schedule your FREE Breakthrough Session. 60 minutes devoted just to you.

If you'd like encouragement and inspiration from a group of like-minded women , then I invite you to join our Facebook group, Joyful Balance Circle. Daily questions to spark your thinking, inspiring posts to live your best life and support for our challenges and celebration.

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